Forgiveness: A how to guide
I was working with a client during an Inner Child session, who asked me how she should go about forgiving her father for her unpleasant childhood. He drank heavily, and as a result, was unable to provide her with the love and care she required and, more importantly, deserved.
We had a wonderful discussion, as I helped her to realize that his drinking wasn’t because she did anything wrong, nor because he didn’t want to love her. The truth lies more closely with the fact that he probably didn’t know how to love himself. In order to love another, we must first love ourselves.
This discussion, then led to a deeper conversation about how to love oneself on a deeper level. I offered a suggestion of one of my favorite ways to start that process of forgiving myself when I have let myself down.
It’s called Ho’oponopono and has been a therapeutic Hawaiian tradition for many centuries to help family members who are ill. It is long believed that illness starts with negative thinking, and that holding onto anger and resentment causes dis-ease, and eventually disease, within the body.
Ho’oponopono is defined in the Hawaiian Dictionary as “To put to rights; to put in order or shape, to correct, revise, amend, rectify, tidy up or to make ready. I especially like this last definition, as I have used this traditional form of forgiveness to make myself ready for the light to shine in.
Ho’oponopono works on the principle that we take 100% responsibility for the events in our lives that have occurred, everyone’s actions not just our own, committing to the idea that we are responsible for everything in our lives, the good and the bad, the wanted and the unwanted experiences. This works with the same principle as the Law of Attraction. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize that we have created the situation in the first place and can allow ourselves to take responsibility for everyone’s actions, not only for our own. When we can take complete responsibility for our life, including everything we see, hear, taste, and touch or in any way experience, we come to the realization that the problem does not lay with our external reality, but within. This lends to the idea that everything exists as a projection from inside the human being.
Total Responsibility.
Ho’oponopono is really simple meditation that allows the light of forgiveness to shine upon the situation, and to help release it. You simple repeat the following statements:
I’M SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
THANK YOU
I LOVE YOU
The results are often astounding. Do you need a miracle?
I’M SORRY: Once you realize that you are responsible for all of your thoughts, even if they seem to be outside of you, aka, someone else’s, then it becomes easy and natural to feel sorry. So, with this mantra, we simply state that we recognize our responsibility in the matter, and let it go, with ease.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME: This should feel like a natural next step. Asking for forgiveness usually comes easy after admitting that we are the only creators in our own minds. Just don’t get hung up on who you are asking, because that part doesn’t matter, just ask! Another pro-tip, you are not just asking the other person, but yourself. That part of YOU that created the distorted thought through your own doubt, fear, anger or frustration.
THANK YOU: Now that you have asked for forgiveness, let’s assume that it has been granted, and again, don’t let your brain tell you differently. It’s sort of of like that “fake it, until you make it” attitude. Just accept that forgiveness has been granted, and show gratitude.
I LOVE YOU: Saying I love you, allows you to hold a tremendous amount of compassion for yourself and for other people in your life. Being willing to say I LOVE YOU to your doubt, your fear, your anxiety to the problem, or a troubling situation, even to your own mind that is standing in your way, is so incredibly powerful. This is where the MAGIC HAPPENS! It is when we try to resist something that we often bring it closer to us, however, in the accepting of it, and even in loving the lessons it is bringing us, will then allow it to heal and be gone, for good!
Was this helpful? Do you need help from childhood trauma or family drama? My Inner Child Healing sessions are a great way to shift the energy in your life and smooth the way to greater success!
